System of Control

        I have realized that the system that we live within is one of control. It is unforgiving and will never support life the way we have things currently set up. We allow our ideas and believes to cause suffering, which is rediculas because these are just ideas and believes. I personally have allowed myself to believe that the system cannot change. But I have realized now that the only thing in the way of change is us. We do not allow ourselves to stand up and expose the shit that goes on daily in our reality and instead quietly submit to the system because we have no other choice. We have no choice. No freedom. Our freedom is limited to how much money we make. We are slaves for money. For pieces of paper we have all agreed are worth somthing.

      My main point of this blog post is to just convey my understanding of how we are each locked into place in this system and that we are but a small part of the whole that creates what happens daily here on earth. We are in place, just a cog in the machine. I have decided to give up this one life. It goes against what I feel, it goes against my thoughts, it goes against what I have been taught growing up. I have to push myself to not fall within previous points of self abuse. But through pushing myself and self honestly looking at my thoughts and actions, I realized that this world could be so much better if we just stand up and shake things up. Show people that we are creating this reality. That the creators are us, that we each individually contribute to what is here.

      We are stuck. Our only chance to set ourselves free is if we allow it to happen. If we do not accept the way things are and change things according to how we want them to be. If we have what is best for all as the principle that we live our lives by then we will allow things to change. Its time we realized that we need change and that we are the only ones that are able to change things.

My perspective on legalizing all drugs.

                So this is an interesting topic that I would like to share my perspective on. So yes I am one vote for legalizing all drugs. Why?

               Well from what I have seen through personal experience with drugs and addictions is that most that are drug addicts or addicts in general do not want to be addicts and want to stop but are stuck in a pattern. So we have a majority of people that do not wish to be addicts. Consider how much money we are spending on drug laws and keeping drugs illegal. It is LOTS OF MONEY. So consider how much money we would be able to redirect if drugs were legal into rehabilitation and things that will benefit humanity. So then we will greatly reduce the amount of drug use and have a more effective society also the price of drugs would change because then they will be not 'hard to get' and will not have a high perceived value. So then we no longer have people getting rich off of drug laws that are in place, the drug dealer will have to sell WAY more drugs but will not have as many people to sell to because people will be getting helped and becoming effective members of humanity.

    "But Sean what about the crackheads that will be walking around the street smoking crack."
         My answer to that is we already have that it is just hidden because the people are not openly smoking crack and this again brings me back to my point about most people not wanting to be addicts. Do you really think a crackhead wants to be a crackhead? So yes I am one vote for legalizing all drugs. It will take away the fact that if somthing is hidden from us humans we want to try it because we are curious to why it is so 'bad'. We will also be able to direct the money from legalization into effective drug education so that kids know what they are seeing and don't get manipulated or tricked into doing drugs because they are not educated enough to make an informed decision.

 To end this blog post I also want to point out that if we had a economic system that is not profit and greed driven drug dealers will virtually not exist. So investigate www.equalmoney.org

If we have a system based on all life living as equals then drugs and drug addiction will no longer be hidden or be taboo because all things will be considered in an equality system all points will be dealt with in a way that is best for all.

I am me and you are me and I am you.

Well that title makes me react with the word, weird. lol. Ok so I just want to write about how I am continually seeing and realizing to what extent I influence my inner and outer reality. How I have realized that other people are me as in they are me's to, they call themselfs 'me'. So they are me too so LOL wow, ok so yea. Everything comes from the same source, the physical. Everything I do I am resposible for, everything that I experience I am resposible for. Which means you are too because you are an 'I' too. So we are equally responsible for what is here since we are equally creating what is here through accepting and allowing it to exist.

                 So I also want to touch on the point of ignorance, Ignor-ance. We Ignore everything that is here and live within the context of ignorance is bliss, I am not sure if that is the right way to say that, within the context, but I will go with it. So we live as that statement and in that actually ignore all the abuse in the world. We say ahhh no I must remain ignorant so I can remain blissfull so I dont have to look at the fuckedness of this reality. So pour up the abusive social lubricant we call alcohol and drink yourself into an ignorant bliss. This is why I dont drink alcohol because I do not wish to be a part of a group of people that are doing nothing but perpetuating the system. Alcohol is poison. I understand thou why people drink and do drugs, its common sense actually, people use drugs and drink becauese they want to be ignorant and blissfull and not look at what the fuck is here.

             So back to the original point of self as creator we are all here and untill we change things practically nothing will change. It is up to each individual to stand up, its going to take time, its going to take effort, its going to take discipline, its going to take self honesty, its going to take self forgiveness, self correction, practical physical living, all these things. For things to change we must change them each 'I' and each 'me'. So lets change this world lets live the principle of equality and oneness within the context of what is best for all.

www.equalmoney.org = an essential part of bringing heaven to earth

Debunking Christianity

            So it seems to me that quite a few people believe in God. A being that resides in the heavens and does.... well I am not actually sure what he does. What does God actually do? It is interesting to me that Christianity is influenced by the human and its creative imagination, ideas, beliefs too. So if this stuff is all made up in the mind of the human were was the idea implanted. When did humans first start believing in a god/gods. I am just starting to research Christianity  and so far I have seen that we can never get back to square one, the beginning. It is not something that one can put there finger on.

     Supposedly we were created by God, but if god created us why did he allow us to be created so that we would sin? Why not just make us perfect and not even have the ability to consider sinning? Since I was a child going to church and things like that always seemed odd and strage to me. It seemed like a complete contradiction that someone goes to church and professes to be holy and shit and then goes home and is just a normal human that does not really do anything deferential than other ones. So I am also amazed at how the cristians themselfs proved that god does not exist. Say a group of christians get together and pray for children suffering from starvation. Then eventually they realize shit my prayer is not working the children are still suffering. So the have missionarys that believe there on a mission sent from god. But if god created heaven earth and all that exist WHY CAN HE NOT JUST FEED SOME CHILDREN AND CREATE HOUSES FOR THEM?!?!?!?!?!?!?

       So we have a contradiction here, God is omnipresent and omnipotent but he cannot save some starving children from a horrible fate. God cant even take care of his own creation? I find this contradiction shows how we must practically change things in this worlds ourselves and that we are in charge and are able to in fact save starving children. We need to find a way to stop these conditions from existing at ALL. So we can create a system that is best for all, that way the children would have what everyone else has, what is best for all. So this is what we need is a system based on principles. Currently the system we have is based on inequality, winner takes all, survival of the fittest. Why cant we all be winners and have an equal life were we are equally cared for by the system? Well we can but we have to practicaly implement this system because God is obviously not going to help us out if he cant even give food to some starving children. So I say lets stand together as equals and and create a world that exist within principle, a world that we can all love equally.

         www.equalmoney.org  

     Equality and Oneness
These two principles are what we can live by/as to create one group that stands in equality We are all creators so lets start creating a world that is best for all.

The great escape.

                 Well when I look at myself I can clearly see how I have learned to find any possible way to escape from what I have created myself to be and my world around me. It is quite a common thing people do to not face them selfs and realize how fucked we are here on earth. So from my personal experience I have used video games and smoking cannabis as my two main things I would use to escape from reality. Needless to say I never escaped and I am still here. The main question we should be asking thou is why do I want to escape? Why do I am I so scared of facing myself and what I have created as myself and what I have participated in creating in the world? Well if one looks in self honesty you will see that we have created a big fuck up and it seems like there is no way out. One would generally think that this problem we have created is to big to fix and that it is pointless to try and stand up for yourself and make a change. Well if you think that you are wrong, to late would be humanity no longer existing and we have a 0% possibility of creating a world were we can actually enjoy our selfs equally.

       So what can one do? I am only one person, so I see that it is common sense to stand with a group that supports the same things I do. That is why I stand with Desteni because I see and realize that it is impossible to bring about a world that is best for all all by myself. I realize that I need support and that I am not a know it all, I don't have all of the answers to how to solve what we have created. And also if one looks you can see we all created this reality together, therefor we must change it together. 1+1=2 so me being 1 I add to the equation and accumulate towards a solution with all of the other 1's. Simple math. So I stand here stopping the abuse within myself so that I can become a human with integrity that stands for equality, that stands for what is best for all, because what is best for all is best for me too!

        The point of this blog post is for all to realize YOU CANT ESCAPE! The only way out is death, and if you do nothing to change what is here then what was the point of your life? No matter how much drugs you take, video games you play, or how hard you try to escape from what is here you always remain.

God does not stand for equality

                   A big point to consider for all of the people believing in god, apperently you have to hear gods word listen to it accept jesus christ as your personal savior. Ok so what about the people that live in poverty and have never even heard of a bible? This is what someone told me that believes in god "well thats why there are christian missionarys to help those people and spread the word of god". Ok so then what about the people that are not 'lucky' enough to have a missionary come spread the word of god? According to christians and people who believe in god there fucked. And I have heard that god makes acceptions for those people because they have not heard of him before. WTF so there is a key thing that is fucked up about 'God', if you dont hear about him or it, then your fucked and you go to hell. Also he does not stand for equality because if he did he would not MAKE people believe in him so they can be saved from hell. Also wtf why did god make hell? and if your answer is well because man is evil. Why the fuck did he make man evil? Just some things I wanted to point out. It is time to take responibility for ourselfs here and stop abdicating our responsibilty to somthing that does not exist.

The solution to Charity's

           Why do charity's exist? I see that this is a question not many ask, I see that humanity turns a blind eye to questions like this and just says "well its just the way that things are". Well the truth of why charity's exist is for profit and because the current money system creates them. I was reading on a website called charity navigator, looking at a charity called equality now and the executive director [the leader of the charity] takes a 5.25% chunk out of the 2,200,000 dollar revenue they have made in a year. The total percent of money that gets given to all administrative staff is 5.6%. For a charity called equality now that is some major inequality going on in the pay for the staff.  This is there mission statement "Equality Now was founded in 1992 to work for the protection and promotion of the human rights of women around the world. Working with national human rights organizations and individual activists, Equality Now documents violence and discrimination against women and mobilizes international action to support their efforts to stop these human rights abuses. Through its Women's Action Network of concerned groups and individuals around the world, Equality Now distributes information about human rights violations; takes action to protest these violations; and brings public attention to human rights violations against women."


                    So there cause is commendable seeing that they are bringing awareness to abuse of human rights and standing up for women. But there not considering an important question, Why are womens rights and human rights getting violated? Well its because of the current money system, and a male dominant society. The current money system imply that allot of jobs are 'Jobs for Men' but really women can do anything a man can do. In an equal money system women would not be treated as inferior or less than a male, they would be equal to a male. There are jobs that suit men better and jobs that suit women better, based on there physical design and that should be considered. But in an equal money system there would not be ideas and beliefs of what a women should do or what she cant do, this is the same for men. So in an equal money system we will see a completely new approach to jobs. In an equal money system charity's will not exist simply because they will not be created. Charity's are a result of lack of money, In an equal money system everything that happens would be best for all. It is best for all to research diseases and find out how to prevent them, it is best for all to have food, it is best for all to have shelter, it is best for all to live equally, it is best for all to have what is best for all. There wont be things left out in an equal money system due to lack of money and survival of the fittest. Charity's are not what is best for all, it is best for all to find a solution so they don't exist. The solution is the EQUAL MONEY SYSTEM. www.equalmoney.org. 


            The equal money system is not some magical thing that allows us to further in our abdication of self responsibility. The equal money system would be a system were all take self responsibility and stand up for what is best for all accepting nothing less. When you work in a group the task gets done faster and with more ease, because each individual is standing self responsible to there part of the task. There are many people on this planet, lets just say that we all started working together for what is best for all. Think of what we can accomplish, we can actually start working with the earth instead of against it. We can create a world that is best for all! We can start working on things to better ourself's as a race, things that will allow us to be one with the planet. Support an equal money system, support what is best for all.

Hell on earth

               People are so scared to die and go to hell, but it is already here. This world is full of suffering, people experience burning to death here just like you would in hell. The earth is full of demons sucking the life out of life, raping the planet for its resources and treating it as a dumping ground. The side of the roads are littered with cigarettes and beer cans, fast food bags, and other garbage. I see that people just dont give a fuck if they are destroying the planet because they dont consider the beings that will be living once there dead. Has anyone ever heard of the saying give as you would like to recieve? Well I know that I would want to live in a world that is best for all and all life live in dignity, in equality. That is why I give my time doing things like this blog to expose the fuckedupness of humanity, exposing how humanity is manifesting its own destruction. Realize that the pollution of the oceans is because of us humanity, the current system, all of it is because of our acceptance and allowance of the system to perpetuate. I am no longer accepting and allowing this system to perpetuate I am doing what is best for all and exposing it for what it really is, so that we can put a new system in place. Humanity will not just suddenly get better, you cant just wait and see, it takes practical steps to change anything. We are all in this together living on the same planet, we all share this space lets start acting like it and do whats best for all and replace the current system with an equal money system.

         In an equal money system we will be able to focus on real things that actually matter. Like ending the starvation in this world, ending child labor/slavery, ending profit games, ending abusive advertising, ending greed, ending self abuse, creating new infrastructure that supports life, exploring the world, educating the youth, enjoying life, we can focus on what is best for all. In an equal money system people will realize that what is best for all is best for them too, Equal money will support life. Life will be honored and dignified, all will have equal opportunity to live a dignified life. The struggle to survive will no longer exist, neither will survival of the fittest. Every one will be equal and be supporting life unconditionally as they support themselfs, because there life too! Possessions will no longer possess you because they will be support not a possession. So in an equal money system the world will be put in order and we will be able to focus on things that matter that we have never had the chance to focus on before because you will not have to spend all your days getting money while a few get rich. In an equal money system there will be no rich no poor, all life will be equally considered so that the polarity manifestation of rich and poor will no longer exist. Support equal money, I am one vote for an equal money system. We are all responsible for this fuck up lets take responsibility for our actions and change this world.

New blog

I have made a separate blog for my personal process, this blog is now dedicated to exposing the abuse in this world. I will be talking about current issues that exist in this world that create inequality and abuse. My goal for this blog is to expose this reality for what it really is and to open people eyes to what is here and present a solution. The equal money system, this is the only solution and is a solution that is best for all, there is no other practical way to solve the issues in the world. We need to replace the current system, throw it all out and start from scratch. We only have a limited time on earth so its about time we make use of our time here to create a world that we can honor and that will honor us. We all share this world it is time to start acting like it and love thy neighbor as thyself, give as you would like to receive. We can all share this earth there is nothing stopping us but ourselfs. There is plenty of resources on this earth to support all life here, this world should be a place were all have fun. The human has created hell on earth it is up to us humans to stop this fuck up, the future is in our hands.

The internet and Equal money

                       Since I have started my process my starting point within using the internet has changed from that of entertainment to that of a tool. Now I use the internet for assisting and supporting myself within my process, and to be a part of the accumulation of Desteni. I am assisting and supporting others within using the internet too by vlogging and blogging sharing my process. So it is cool to be a part of Desteni from the perspective that I am a brick in the wall so to speak, the wall of life that is going to bring about an equal money system. I am an equal brick and no brick in the wall or pyramid or what ever is greater than the other were all equal in it. That is why an equal money system is so cool, because in the current system the people at the top of the pyramid being superior and all the others being inferior.In an equal money system this superior/inferior polarity manifestation will no longer exist. 

                       The internet is a great tool that is to be used for what is best for all. With the internet we are able to effectively accumulate and bring about equal money depending on how effective each one is. It is like anything in this world, the more people the more effect it has. That is why the effects on the earth are so great and it is manifesting extreme weather, it is the accumulation of the abuse of humanity. Humanity is insanity that is what it is currently, I say this because the earth is being destroyed and people are more worried about buying an outfit to wear to a party. People go out shopping for stylish expensive sunglasses to look cool why others starve to death. I am sure that if you walk out onto the street and interview people about Fukashima and the reactor crisis some wont even know wtf your talking about. I had a 'friend' laugh when I told him about it because of the name of the location because it had Fuk in it. He did not even know what I was talking about and could care less too. "If I cant see it and its not hurting me then fuck it" that is the attitude of humanity currently.

                     The internet is currently being abused and is not being utilized as a tool to spread awareness it is being used for entertainment. Online gaming, porn, online poker, and much more useless things. But what isn't being abused in this world? I am trying to think of something and cannot if someone reads this and would like to show me something that is not being abused due to the current money system or humans please show me. People abuse them selfs daily and don't even realize it, it is thought that masturbation is healthy and looking at porn is just normal. Having sex with multiple partners is just normal especially if your not in a relationship yeah go ahead you have free choice. Free choice to abuse yourself and others and life, I would like to point out what Niklas said in a photo of his. You have to choices in this world to be self honest or self dishonest here is what Niklas said "good- that which is best for all...... Bad- that which does not take all life into consideration." So really free choice is just the choice to abuse, free choice is just something to hide behind as a justification for not standing up for all life an what is best for all.

Commenting on youtube

Well every time I try and post a comment on youtube that is explaining something to someone about the money system or equality it says "error try again". But when I go to test to see If I can post another comment on some random video it lets me like the word 'fuck' I just went to a random video and said that and it say OK. Lol so im not sure why this happens its like every time I try and post a comment were I could potentially help people realize that shit is fucked up and there is a solution it says 'error try again' lol. So I try again and again and again but eventually give up, this really sucks so Im going to become more effective in my vloging skills to take this on so that I can reach out and help the 'lost sheep' find there way home. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated with this point of not being able to comment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that me commenting is important. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at youtube and to believe that youtube does not want me to post 'meaningfull' comments.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be superior to those that have not realized that the world is fucked up.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I was once that person.
well I always realized there was something wrong here just never did anything to take action.
I stand self responsible to the point of superiority in commenting an will effectively direct myself within/as breath to support and assist the 'lost sheep'.
I was once that person that needed a little extra 'push' to realize the extent of the abuse here and needed support and assistance from others to realize what needs to be done. I realize that the 'others' are me and I am the others. lol. So I stand equal and one to others that need assistance and support.

needing others sf

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need others to make me feel complete.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having someone to talk to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I need others opinions to define me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to always be with someone.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be comfortable with myself
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I only require myself to direct myself.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am always alone and in that I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear being alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like writing self forgiveness is a task.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to enjoy writing self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have  defined self forgiveness as something outside of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to call someone when I am uncertain.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to call someone for assistance when I can assist myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need my mothers approval to do anything.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I myself am the directive principle in my life not others unless I allow them to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed others to be the directive principle in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I can express myself better around my mother because I have known her my whole life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself in front of other beings I have never met before.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that my mom is another being just like all other beings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself belief that I can express myself more freely around my parents because I have known them my whole life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the feelings of fear, nervousness, anxiety, speechlessness when around others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from my fears of fear,nervousness, anxiety, and speechlessness when around others.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that these fears are not real  and are manifested in my mind to control me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get a bad feeling when I do not speak to another person because there is nothing to say.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have nothing to say.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unimportant.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as shy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the definition of shyness to define me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need the attention of others to feel good about myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define having a car as being cool
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having a car as being better than others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having a car as more that a transportation tool.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my car is simply a tool for transportation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that having a car defines who I am.
 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone more special than others because I have a car.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others based on the physical apperence of there car.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having a car a status symbol.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having a car as a luxury.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my car.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my car as nice.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself feel better when I see someone in a car that is not as 'nice' as mine.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want people to be jealous of me having a car.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to smoke weed in my car.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that because I have a car I am better than those without.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire attention for having a nice car.
I stand self responsible to needing others and will direct myself effectively within/as breath here.
I am equal and one to these points and will effectively direct myself here within/as these points.

Probation

               Im going to talk about an experience I had today when meeting with my probation officer. I have not seen her since I started my process and last time I was in her office I was still smoking every day. So I went into the building went up to her office and she comments on how I look good and healthy. I said "yep haha I have changed quite dramatically, She asks "how did you do it?". LOL I told her "self honesty and self forgiveness", and then I explained how it works and did some examples for her. I also told her how it was not hard to quit once I took self responsibility. I also explained how I was fed up with the system and fed up with living in a capitalistic consumerism county. She said "wow thats cool so are you still seeing your phycologist?" Me "nope". her "are you with any groups or going to any meetings?" me "nope... well I am a  part of a group called desteni and we stand up for equality". I explained to her why I shaved my head and how we are changing our selfs to change the world because thats what this world needs. So she asked for the links to the websites and I gave her the desteni website link and equal money link. After we ha chatted for a bit I took my drug test, passed it and now I am not going to have a possession of marijuana charge on my record anymore. When I got back from taking the test she said to me "aren't you afraid you going to go back to it?" I laughed and said "lol nope, I can confidently say I am never going to smoke weed ever again." she looked at me in amazement and said "wow well thats really awesome Sean". She told me good luck when we were done and I said "thanks but I dont need luck" and she said "well I wish you the best then" haha. So when she was walking me out she asked me If I would like to come talk to the other people that are on probation I said I might. I would like to talk to the people there about my experience and how I overcame it, but the place is very far away so im probably only going to do it a couple times. So that would be cool, I would never have seen me as the guy speaking about overcoming my addictions and telling people and giving them the tools of self honesty and self forgiveness a month ago. I have changed so much and continue to change myself it is truly amazing. Her final question was "so your phyc. did not help you out at all? he did not recomend any of this?" I said "nope he did not help me at all". she said "well I guess were out of work here". That comment when looking at it self honestly if there was no drug crimes and no people addicted to drugs then she would have no job, the probation office would not exist. So In an equal money system these types of probation offices were people go because of drug crimes to be drug tested and get assigned to community service would not exist. A self honest self responsible human being see's that drugs are not needed to be a productive human. It see's that one does not need a substance to express itself and to feel happy. A self honest human sees that drugs are for when you have a medical problem that cannot be fixed without them. But an honest human will think that they need drugs in order to feel happy and that they themselfs cant. I see cannabis as supportive for serious medical conditions. It can be used practically to assist and support someone with a terminal illness, just like a pain killer. We use opiates to treat pain but because humans are not self responsible they abuse them to get high, just like cannabis. So this is a prime example on how the human needs to change in order for substances like this to be used in a common sense way. The human in its current brainwashed condition cannot even see that if they smoke weed to get rid of anxiety or to make them selfs feel better they are abusing them selfs. So the change needs to be on an individual level that is why we at Desteni do what we do because we realize this point. Stand up for life, become a Destonian.

Answering my fathers prayers

Well I talked to my dad recently and was chatting about how I had transcended insomnia and stopped using an alarm to wake up. He said to me "Sean the way I see it is that what is happening to you his an answer of my prayers". I replied "Dad just realize that If I had not decided to stand up and be self responsible your prayers would not have gotten answered". This was it in the conversation because after I said that he reacted and just said " yea well I was just telling you how I see it". He knows I dont believe in god and have asked him questions like why do starving people exist and why would god allow that?. He says well there are ways to help that and the reason starvation exist is because of sin, there are lots of Cristian missionary's helping that. It is like you simply cannot have a common sense conversation with someone that is religious because all the problems in this world are solved by god and accepting Jesus as your personal savior. So what happens to the people that are in third world countries that have never seen a bible or herd of it do they go to hell? that is another question I asked him and he brought up the missionary point again. So religious people are simply possessed by there idea of god and there fear of death. It is fucked how someone can believe that god is the answer when they look at the world today. I just recently had a Cristian tell me that the Apocalypse is happening and Jesus is coming back to save us. They abdicate there responsibility as a being to an idea/belief that they are saved from there death and will live eternally in heaven. No wonder shit is fucked up we have people not giving a shit because they think there gonna die and go to this great heaven why should they care about earth? And the worst part of it all is that none of them {that I have met} actually live the message of Jesus. Stand up Christians your god is not real you have been brainwashed and your god not save you from death it is going to happen, you already know much about Jesus its time to live the message of Jesus!

I WANT CANDY!

I was doing community service today finishing my last 8 hour day at the DAV [disabled american veterans] thrift store and a song called I want candy came on. Now im sure most people know this song and have heard it multiple times, there are multiple artists that preform this song. I remember when I was a kid this song would come on and I would think "ohhh I want some candy too" lol. But now that I am not a kid and I am 19 years old I realize this song is about desiring a female. So its cool to look at how we interpreter things when we are children and how we simply dont grasp the concept of desire to the extent of someone who has matured. This point of music of desiring women and seeing them as 'candy' must have some sort of impact on the child's brain and would have a role in how the child develops. Even if the child learns to desire actual candy then his/her brain will associate the desire they feel for candy towards woman when they grow up. So have a look at things that you children are being bombarded with every day by the music industry. I cant even turn on the radio without having to flip through at bunch of channels with sexual songs. In the music industry today we no longer are subtle about desiring sex, it is put out there as the main point of the song. I have recently found out that at least 3 big telecommunication companies are a part of the porn industry. And they use other producers and don't use there big company name on the porn they support producing. Our society has become sensationalized through media and these media company's are most likely supporting porn. So if one is self honesty you should be grasping the picture here, Our life is controlled by the media. Through them identifying our wants needs desires thoughts and emotions they are able to use commercials to entice us into buying something. So the porn industry has seeped into reality and plays a role in our every day lives, through the media supporting it. Consider this would you like to have a child in this world were he/she is programmed by the mass media to become a clone of what society 'should be'? I most definitely would not this is why we need  to educate ourself and become a directive force in changing this reality to a place that is best for all. If you have any excuses/justifications know that your part of the problem. Each and every one on this earth is responsible for what has been accepted and allowed in this reality. It is time we stand up and stop this and to not accept and allow an abusive system were life is not honored but is cloned to be another 'happy consumer'. Just have a look at the word consume, A "consumer" is the one who consumes the goods and services produced, what is the producer? The economy. But who produces the economy? Humans. And who produces Humans? Other humans.But the underlining producer is THE EARTH and if we continue to consume faster than the rate the producer can produce. Well you do the math. Consumer is normally associated with the word economy so no one sees what the underlining producer is and live in ignorance thinking the economy will support them always. Its time for a new system, a new world investigate the links on my blog page if you are fed up and want to stand up and make a real change.

Shaving my head

So I shaved my head tonight not with a razor but with some clippers that go down to 1.5 millimeter so im pretty much bald haha. When I told my mom Im about to shave my head she was mad that I was doing it. I shaved about half of it and turned off the shaver my mom looked at me and said "Thats exactly what I did not want you to do you look like you have cancer!". I said "no mom thats just your ideas and beliefs of what someone with cancer looks like, you dont have to have cancer to have a shaved head. before I did the shaving I clearly explained my starting point to her, that I am fed up and im shaving it to show I am not controlled by my fears. But man when I shaved it she got angry and when I asked her to help me with the back of it she did it real quick and did not make it even. I was looking into the mirror and she said "why you looking in the mirror I thought you dont care what people think about you!?" in a angry snotty tone. I said "im just making sure its even" she says "well it shouldnt matter if it is, why dont you just shave it all off". I said " well I was going to but it was too thick to use a razor on it". So she got quite pissed and just started stomping around doing what she normally does if she would have like come home and the house is a mess. So I found it interesting that she got mad over such a small thing. Im pretty sure she has calmed down now but she got really mad like after I took a shower she came up to me with spare car keys in hand and said "HERE you find a place to put all the spare keys and just let me know were you put them" also she made a remark "just do what you wanna do and if you want to clue me in go ahead". So it seems to me she is fearing losing her definition of me. Interesting night in this I faced my fear of conflict and breathed through my reactions and now im here writing this blog, I felt my heart race when she started reacting and just breathed through my reactions.

Why do you work?

Well I know why I work and it is to make money, so that I can survive. I do not enjoy waking up each day and having to go to work and be a part of this system were there is extreme inequality. But I do it because I have no choice its either work or get kicked out of my house and be fucked. All humans are working to survive, in an equal money system this will change, all will have a chance to live a dignified life from birth to death. I live in the United States of America and it is supposedly the best country on earth, that is automatically implying inequality. Why is the USA so much better than others.... oh yea because we have the biggest military and we are 'the land of opportunity' {to make money}. So in an equal money system there would be no need for a military or for the USA to be the 'best' country on earth. All country's will be equal and there will be no best country on earth because all country's will be best for all. In an equal money system we will not have to wake up and be stressed out about having enough money. We wont have to worry about weather or not our children will be getting treated equally and getting a good education. In an EMS all will be educated equally to the best of each individuals ability. We will not have obesity any more because there will be a nutrition system that is best for all. Also there will be no fast food because it is obviously unhealthy. So back to the question why do you work? Why do we have to compromise our selfs to make a paycheck? Why cant we all live equally? Why cant we all live in a world where all life is considered and none starve to death or have to be slaves for money? The answer is we dont have to have these things exist, and it is up to each and every single human to stand up and realize they can make a change. Realize that 1+1=2 and that you can be that 1 that ends abuse so stand with me I am one vote for an equal money system. 1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1 this is how we do it by each standing self responsible and saying I no longer accept and allow an abusive system that does not consider all life equally. Be the key to change reality.

New car

So my mom and dad are pitching in to get me a new car, I as well am pitching in. My mom just brought it home so we can test it out and make sure I like it. I dont really care what kind of car I get because I dont care about being cool or driving around in a cool car. But what has been picked out is a Chevy colbolt its a coup and its red. I was just driving it around with my mom and I was not acting all exited or anything, I was just driving it testing it out. When we got done I said "im not exited because I dont really want a car", she says " Well I would think that you would be really exited its a nice car". I said " yea its a nice car and there is nothing wrong with it, and the only reason im getting it is because I need it, I have no choice". After that we started walking into the house and my mom sayed "it sucks to see you like this you have no joy". I sayed "I still do things that I enjoy but im not going to sit back while the world is existing this was and go off and live a 'happy' life". then she said " well I went through the same thing your going through when I was building our house because I knew there were people starving out there and did not even have a place to stay, so I gave money to the causes I wanted to." She also said "I choose happyness [lol free will]" so then I said " im just not going to sit back and live a 'happy life' whatever that is and ignore what is going on in this world when I know I can change it". She got upset and said "that is not what I was talking about." She was trying to get me to accept my preprogrammed self the self that lives in ignorance of what is going on around it. She told me "you need to find your happyness" WTF does that mean..... It means that I should accept and allow my limitations as a preprogrammed happiness robot that accepts an abusive brutal unforgiving system where life is not honored. So yea I have a new car now whoopdi doo, it is simply a tool that I can use for transportation. I am not going to go out and show people and be like yea look at my cool new car and all that shit. I dont give a fuck about whether people think my car is cool or not. So yea I am not exited about getting a new car that helps me be a part of this system, that is why I am one vote for an equal money system and am changing myself.

Overwhelmed by fears

                      Ok so I have been feeling quite overwhelmed by my fears and by my idea of process. There is massive amounts of radiation pouring into the earth and that is one of my fears. Also I have been overwhelmed with process and getting ahead of myself you could say. Wanting to speed things up instead of being here and breathing taking things one breath at a time, which is all I can do. I find that If I go into these overwhelming thoughts it only makes things worse and that I will only feed the energy of them. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be overwhelmed by my fears and by my idea of process. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear radiation. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want my process to just be done. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dieing from radiation. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting cancer from radiation. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by my fears. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to complete my process. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath and forgive myself when these fears arouse. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am not smart enough to do my process. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself with fear. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dieing before completing my process. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the system for being unfair. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self responsibility by blaming. I forgive myself for not realizing that I am equal to the system and all in it. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beilive I am separate from others. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dieing from food poisoning . I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear other peoples opinions of me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my expression as life. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by my perceptions of other people judging me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the judgement of others. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself. I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to fear being bitten by a spider. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dieing from a spider bite. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough money to survive. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my money. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear someone intruding my home and stealing my laptop. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear someone stealing my money. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to steal in the past. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being shot. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dieing from being shot. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being in a situation where I could get shot. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dieing from a car crash. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain of being in a car crash. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting acne. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear what it looks like to have acne. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my mother. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my brother. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by the fear of losing my family. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being accepted. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my idea of myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear fear itself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am fear. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my mind. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am my thoughts. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am my fears. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am my emotions. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am my feelings. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be overwhelmed by fear. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear process. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed into my fears instead of realizing that they are not real. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed resistance to build up inside of me.