The internet and Equal money

                       Since I have started my process my starting point within using the internet has changed from that of entertainment to that of a tool. Now I use the internet for assisting and supporting myself within my process, and to be a part of the accumulation of Desteni. I am assisting and supporting others within using the internet too by vlogging and blogging sharing my process. So it is cool to be a part of Desteni from the perspective that I am a brick in the wall so to speak, the wall of life that is going to bring about an equal money system. I am an equal brick and no brick in the wall or pyramid or what ever is greater than the other were all equal in it. That is why an equal money system is so cool, because in the current system the people at the top of the pyramid being superior and all the others being inferior.In an equal money system this superior/inferior polarity manifestation will no longer exist. 

                       The internet is a great tool that is to be used for what is best for all. With the internet we are able to effectively accumulate and bring about equal money depending on how effective each one is. It is like anything in this world, the more people the more effect it has. That is why the effects on the earth are so great and it is manifesting extreme weather, it is the accumulation of the abuse of humanity. Humanity is insanity that is what it is currently, I say this because the earth is being destroyed and people are more worried about buying an outfit to wear to a party. People go out shopping for stylish expensive sunglasses to look cool why others starve to death. I am sure that if you walk out onto the street and interview people about Fukashima and the reactor crisis some wont even know wtf your talking about. I had a 'friend' laugh when I told him about it because of the name of the location because it had Fuk in it. He did not even know what I was talking about and could care less too. "If I cant see it and its not hurting me then fuck it" that is the attitude of humanity currently.

                     The internet is currently being abused and is not being utilized as a tool to spread awareness it is being used for entertainment. Online gaming, porn, online poker, and much more useless things. But what isn't being abused in this world? I am trying to think of something and cannot if someone reads this and would like to show me something that is not being abused due to the current money system or humans please show me. People abuse them selfs daily and don't even realize it, it is thought that masturbation is healthy and looking at porn is just normal. Having sex with multiple partners is just normal especially if your not in a relationship yeah go ahead you have free choice. Free choice to abuse yourself and others and life, I would like to point out what Niklas said in a photo of his. You have to choices in this world to be self honest or self dishonest here is what Niklas said "good- that which is best for all...... Bad- that which does not take all life into consideration." So really free choice is just the choice to abuse, free choice is just something to hide behind as a justification for not standing up for all life an what is best for all.

Commenting on youtube

Well every time I try and post a comment on youtube that is explaining something to someone about the money system or equality it says "error try again". But when I go to test to see If I can post another comment on some random video it lets me like the word 'fuck' I just went to a random video and said that and it say OK. Lol so im not sure why this happens its like every time I try and post a comment were I could potentially help people realize that shit is fucked up and there is a solution it says 'error try again' lol. So I try again and again and again but eventually give up, this really sucks so Im going to become more effective in my vloging skills to take this on so that I can reach out and help the 'lost sheep' find there way home. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated with this point of not being able to comment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that me commenting is important. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at youtube and to believe that youtube does not want me to post 'meaningfull' comments.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be superior to those that have not realized that the world is fucked up.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I was once that person.
well I always realized there was something wrong here just never did anything to take action.
I stand self responsible to the point of superiority in commenting an will effectively direct myself within/as breath to support and assist the 'lost sheep'.
I was once that person that needed a little extra 'push' to realize the extent of the abuse here and needed support and assistance from others to realize what needs to be done. I realize that the 'others' are me and I am the others. lol. So I stand equal and one to others that need assistance and support.

needing others sf

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need others to make me feel complete.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having someone to talk to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I need others opinions to define me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to always be with someone.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be comfortable with myself
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I only require myself to direct myself.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am always alone and in that I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear being alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like writing self forgiveness is a task.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to enjoy writing self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have  defined self forgiveness as something outside of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to call someone when I am uncertain.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to call someone for assistance when I can assist myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need my mothers approval to do anything.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I myself am the directive principle in my life not others unless I allow them to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed others to be the directive principle in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I can express myself better around my mother because I have known her my whole life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself in front of other beings I have never met before.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that my mom is another being just like all other beings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself belief that I can express myself more freely around my parents because I have known them my whole life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the feelings of fear, nervousness, anxiety, speechlessness when around others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from my fears of fear,nervousness, anxiety, and speechlessness when around others.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that these fears are not real  and are manifested in my mind to control me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get a bad feeling when I do not speak to another person because there is nothing to say.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have nothing to say.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unimportant.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as shy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the definition of shyness to define me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need the attention of others to feel good about myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define having a car as being cool
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having a car as being better than others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having a car as more that a transportation tool.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my car is simply a tool for transportation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that having a car defines who I am.
 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as someone more special than others because I have a car.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others based on the physical apperence of there car.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having a car a status symbol.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having a car as a luxury.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my car.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my car as nice.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself feel better when I see someone in a car that is not as 'nice' as mine.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want people to be jealous of me having a car.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to smoke weed in my car.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that because I have a car I am better than those without.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire attention for having a nice car.
I stand self responsible to needing others and will direct myself effectively within/as breath here.
I am equal and one to these points and will effectively direct myself here within/as these points.

Probation

               Im going to talk about an experience I had today when meeting with my probation officer. I have not seen her since I started my process and last time I was in her office I was still smoking every day. So I went into the building went up to her office and she comments on how I look good and healthy. I said "yep haha I have changed quite dramatically, She asks "how did you do it?". LOL I told her "self honesty and self forgiveness", and then I explained how it works and did some examples for her. I also told her how it was not hard to quit once I took self responsibility. I also explained how I was fed up with the system and fed up with living in a capitalistic consumerism county. She said "wow thats cool so are you still seeing your phycologist?" Me "nope". her "are you with any groups or going to any meetings?" me "nope... well I am a  part of a group called desteni and we stand up for equality". I explained to her why I shaved my head and how we are changing our selfs to change the world because thats what this world needs. So she asked for the links to the websites and I gave her the desteni website link and equal money link. After we ha chatted for a bit I took my drug test, passed it and now I am not going to have a possession of marijuana charge on my record anymore. When I got back from taking the test she said to me "aren't you afraid you going to go back to it?" I laughed and said "lol nope, I can confidently say I am never going to smoke weed ever again." she looked at me in amazement and said "wow well thats really awesome Sean". She told me good luck when we were done and I said "thanks but I dont need luck" and she said "well I wish you the best then" haha. So when she was walking me out she asked me If I would like to come talk to the other people that are on probation I said I might. I would like to talk to the people there about my experience and how I overcame it, but the place is very far away so im probably only going to do it a couple times. So that would be cool, I would never have seen me as the guy speaking about overcoming my addictions and telling people and giving them the tools of self honesty and self forgiveness a month ago. I have changed so much and continue to change myself it is truly amazing. Her final question was "so your phyc. did not help you out at all? he did not recomend any of this?" I said "nope he did not help me at all". she said "well I guess were out of work here". That comment when looking at it self honestly if there was no drug crimes and no people addicted to drugs then she would have no job, the probation office would not exist. So In an equal money system these types of probation offices were people go because of drug crimes to be drug tested and get assigned to community service would not exist. A self honest self responsible human being see's that drugs are not needed to be a productive human. It see's that one does not need a substance to express itself and to feel happy. A self honest human sees that drugs are for when you have a medical problem that cannot be fixed without them. But an honest human will think that they need drugs in order to feel happy and that they themselfs cant. I see cannabis as supportive for serious medical conditions. It can be used practically to assist and support someone with a terminal illness, just like a pain killer. We use opiates to treat pain but because humans are not self responsible they abuse them to get high, just like cannabis. So this is a prime example on how the human needs to change in order for substances like this to be used in a common sense way. The human in its current brainwashed condition cannot even see that if they smoke weed to get rid of anxiety or to make them selfs feel better they are abusing them selfs. So the change needs to be on an individual level that is why we at Desteni do what we do because we realize this point. Stand up for life, become a Destonian.

Answering my fathers prayers

Well I talked to my dad recently and was chatting about how I had transcended insomnia and stopped using an alarm to wake up. He said to me "Sean the way I see it is that what is happening to you his an answer of my prayers". I replied "Dad just realize that If I had not decided to stand up and be self responsible your prayers would not have gotten answered". This was it in the conversation because after I said that he reacted and just said " yea well I was just telling you how I see it". He knows I dont believe in god and have asked him questions like why do starving people exist and why would god allow that?. He says well there are ways to help that and the reason starvation exist is because of sin, there are lots of Cristian missionary's helping that. It is like you simply cannot have a common sense conversation with someone that is religious because all the problems in this world are solved by god and accepting Jesus as your personal savior. So what happens to the people that are in third world countries that have never seen a bible or herd of it do they go to hell? that is another question I asked him and he brought up the missionary point again. So religious people are simply possessed by there idea of god and there fear of death. It is fucked how someone can believe that god is the answer when they look at the world today. I just recently had a Cristian tell me that the Apocalypse is happening and Jesus is coming back to save us. They abdicate there responsibility as a being to an idea/belief that they are saved from there death and will live eternally in heaven. No wonder shit is fucked up we have people not giving a shit because they think there gonna die and go to this great heaven why should they care about earth? And the worst part of it all is that none of them {that I have met} actually live the message of Jesus. Stand up Christians your god is not real you have been brainwashed and your god not save you from death it is going to happen, you already know much about Jesus its time to live the message of Jesus!

I WANT CANDY!

I was doing community service today finishing my last 8 hour day at the DAV [disabled american veterans] thrift store and a song called I want candy came on. Now im sure most people know this song and have heard it multiple times, there are multiple artists that preform this song. I remember when I was a kid this song would come on and I would think "ohhh I want some candy too" lol. But now that I am not a kid and I am 19 years old I realize this song is about desiring a female. So its cool to look at how we interpreter things when we are children and how we simply dont grasp the concept of desire to the extent of someone who has matured. This point of music of desiring women and seeing them as 'candy' must have some sort of impact on the child's brain and would have a role in how the child develops. Even if the child learns to desire actual candy then his/her brain will associate the desire they feel for candy towards woman when they grow up. So have a look at things that you children are being bombarded with every day by the music industry. I cant even turn on the radio without having to flip through at bunch of channels with sexual songs. In the music industry today we no longer are subtle about desiring sex, it is put out there as the main point of the song. I have recently found out that at least 3 big telecommunication companies are a part of the porn industry. And they use other producers and don't use there big company name on the porn they support producing. Our society has become sensationalized through media and these media company's are most likely supporting porn. So if one is self honesty you should be grasping the picture here, Our life is controlled by the media. Through them identifying our wants needs desires thoughts and emotions they are able to use commercials to entice us into buying something. So the porn industry has seeped into reality and plays a role in our every day lives, through the media supporting it. Consider this would you like to have a child in this world were he/she is programmed by the mass media to become a clone of what society 'should be'? I most definitely would not this is why we need  to educate ourself and become a directive force in changing this reality to a place that is best for all. If you have any excuses/justifications know that your part of the problem. Each and every one on this earth is responsible for what has been accepted and allowed in this reality. It is time we stand up and stop this and to not accept and allow an abusive system were life is not honored but is cloned to be another 'happy consumer'. Just have a look at the word consume, A "consumer" is the one who consumes the goods and services produced, what is the producer? The economy. But who produces the economy? Humans. And who produces Humans? Other humans.But the underlining producer is THE EARTH and if we continue to consume faster than the rate the producer can produce. Well you do the math. Consumer is normally associated with the word economy so no one sees what the underlining producer is and live in ignorance thinking the economy will support them always. Its time for a new system, a new world investigate the links on my blog page if you are fed up and want to stand up and make a real change.

Shaving my head

So I shaved my head tonight not with a razor but with some clippers that go down to 1.5 millimeter so im pretty much bald haha. When I told my mom Im about to shave my head she was mad that I was doing it. I shaved about half of it and turned off the shaver my mom looked at me and said "Thats exactly what I did not want you to do you look like you have cancer!". I said "no mom thats just your ideas and beliefs of what someone with cancer looks like, you dont have to have cancer to have a shaved head. before I did the shaving I clearly explained my starting point to her, that I am fed up and im shaving it to show I am not controlled by my fears. But man when I shaved it she got angry and when I asked her to help me with the back of it she did it real quick and did not make it even. I was looking into the mirror and she said "why you looking in the mirror I thought you dont care what people think about you!?" in a angry snotty tone. I said "im just making sure its even" she says "well it shouldnt matter if it is, why dont you just shave it all off". I said " well I was going to but it was too thick to use a razor on it". So she got quite pissed and just started stomping around doing what she normally does if she would have like come home and the house is a mess. So I found it interesting that she got mad over such a small thing. Im pretty sure she has calmed down now but she got really mad like after I took a shower she came up to me with spare car keys in hand and said "HERE you find a place to put all the spare keys and just let me know were you put them" also she made a remark "just do what you wanna do and if you want to clue me in go ahead". So it seems to me she is fearing losing her definition of me. Interesting night in this I faced my fear of conflict and breathed through my reactions and now im here writing this blog, I felt my heart race when she started reacting and just breathed through my reactions.