In this blog I will be talking about my life and my experiences to help myself change myself. And through that change will be able to change how I participate in the world.
Friday, April 8, 2011
anti-depressants anti-anxiety and phyco-logists and psychiatrists
Why cant we listen to our own body? Why do we have to get someone to tell us that we are depressed? Well I have been to a phycoligist and a psychiatrist and I want to share my experience with both. Ok so I started seeing a phycoligist in sept. 2011 and I was going to see him because I was mentally distressed. I smoked allot of weed every day and was smoking cigarettes too. I wanted to go see a phyc. so that I could figure out why the fuck I was feeling the way I did, wich was depressed and suicidal. So I went to see him and we would talk about my life and how stuff in the world is messed up. We would end up having very interesting conversations about philosophy and god and stuff. So eventually he recomended me to see a psychiatrist, so I could get some prescription drugs. Apparently I had depression and A.D.D and general anxiety disorder. So he put me on a benzo called klonopin an anti-depressant and he would have given me the stimulant adderall witch is basically meth in a pill if I would have asked for it. So I have had problems with anxiety for quite some time and I was pretty happy to get the klonopin. But also in the past I had taked 25 of the klonopin to try to kill myself but it didn't work haha obviously im here writing this so. I got the klonopin again and would abuse it and take 3 to 4 times the recommended daily dose. I started to experience black outs and I got into a car crash after taking about 6 times the recommended dose. I would not remember anything in the days that I had done this and its like it all got erased from my memory. I never took the anti depressants I was just very desperate to quit smoking weed and the anti depressant that I got you could not smoke weed on it. So I was trying to substitute my weed dependence for an anti-depressant. So I have quit smoking weed on my own without substituting my dependence with another chemical. I have also quit smoking cigarettes, I had been smoking weed and cigarettes since I was 13 years old (Im 19 now). From my experience the phycoligists and psychiatrists will tell you exactly what you want to hear and will not solve your problems. Most of the time they will make you worse because you end up trying to substitute what your body does naturally with drugs. So if you want to get past your anxiety and depression look at your life and see what you have done, there are probably reasons why you are having the problems.
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