Monday, April 18, 2011
My brother 2
Well I woke up this morning to my brother and mom aruging about my brothers life and stuff. And long story short his 'way out' is to kill himself. His plan was/is not sure which one it is but he wants to kill himself. I did all I could do this morning with the situation. I even bought him a pack of cigs so he could come home and fall asleep. I told him that people at desteni have been through the same shit and that if he is seirous about changing himself then he will consider taking a look at it. I explained to him how being self-honest and using the tool of self-forgiveness has saved my life. That is all I can do, he has the power to change himself but untill he stops all of his self pity and willowing in his sorrow he is not going to change. I told him that "im here and im not going anywere" after he had said that his friends ditched him and his ex. girlfriend did too. I did all I can do and even contributed to his shit. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to contribute to my brothers addictions. This was my last stand with him it is a 2 way road from here either he starts to be self honest or he is going to continue destroying himself.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into a point of giving attention to my brothers cycle of dependency on outside forces.I told him that if he dies he will not die in vein, and that I am doing what im doing so that my children and his children and our children's children and all of the children don't have to live in this fucked up reality, Were we can have a happy dignified life.