Monday, April 18, 2011
I will from now on keep a diary on my back chat and will effectively document it to effectively stop it. I am going to keep a notepad with me at all times that way if I have a point that come up within my back chat I can document it so it will not come up later and it can be forgiven. This will be an effective way to start seeing my back chat and seeing how it develops situations and fantasy's energetic responses and all of the shit it creates. I suggest to anyone wanting to stop there back chat do the same. That way when back chat comes up you will be able to effectively document it and forgive the necessary points. I have noticed within personal experience when I let my back chat run ramped I found myself in situations that were not best for all. For example I was planning on going to community service today to finish up some work I have to do to get a possession of marijuana charge dropped from my record. I had back chat thoughts such as "your not going to be able to wake up in the morning", "you have been working so hard you deserve to stay up late and enjoy yourself". Now today I have gotten work done around the house and pushed through some resistances on laziness. But I would be able to have gotten a day of work done today and then finish tomorrow. But now I have to wait until Monday to do the last day and the 27th is the deadline. I am cutting it close and I intended to get it done this week so that I could go to work all next week. So also a back chat came up " you don't know what time to be there". This was the main point I listened to because I was uncertain and feared wasting money on gas going to the place then not being able to work. I have the time the place opens up and it is 8 am, with that information I am able to effectively move myself in the context of what time I should wake up/leave the house. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to my back chat and to accept and allow this uncertainty to exist with/as me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself effectively in this situation. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of losing money to exist within/as me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within/as the back chat. I forgive myself that I had not started effectively documenting my back chat. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put myself into a situation that is not best for all.