Thursday, April 14, 2011

Friction when changing {summary}

Ok I am going to get to the points of the last blog I wrote to summarize the situation so that It is easier to read. My brother wanted to use the car and I told him no because he does not have insurance, and my mother told me not to let him. So he used named calling and brought up the past when I had made my stance clear. We eventually came to a compromise and he was to ride to work with me and walk to his destination from my work. He called his ex. girlfriend after we had argued and after that she sent me 3 long messages including a death threat in the first sentence. The messages were about how I was acting like I was changing and that I am a worthless drug addict and that I am in a cult. Lol so this situation was interesting and caused much anxiety. I breathed through it, applied self-forgiveness on feelings/reactions and used breath orgasm to get rid of the anxious feeling in my chest. What I experienced was me walking through my acceptances and allowances, this was my past trying to drag me in. It was a very intense situation for me but I am here breathing. Also a cool point to add is that my brother is going out to hang out with some friends tonight and asked to use my phone for the night. I have no problem with it and it is actually practical and common sense for him to have it if he is driving. I had an energetic reaction to this and said "Do you realize what happened last night? You told me you are never going to do me any favors ever again." Then I experienced some anxiety and realized what I had just done.I actually said to him "im sorry for bringing up the past I was trying to bring it up to get what I want and to manipulate the situation, and thats fucked up" . I had in the bringing up the past sentence did the same thing that he did to me last night in the point of "bringing up the past".
 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bring up the past in order to manipulate a situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a superior/inferior situation by bringing up the past.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this energetic experience.

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