Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Working and participating in gossip
So I am helping set up this golf store for a guy that I know from a year ago and its been enjoyable so far. But there are things that I have been participating in that are not best for all and not self honest. Like I noticed when I would participate in the gossip my mind would sort of take over and when we were done then I would again become aware of myself in breath. I found it pretty much impossible to remain within breath while I was gossiping. So im glad that im wrighting about this and getting it out onto paper. I also am working on self forgiveness in relation to women. For example I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see women as sexual objects. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into my mind as pictures. Stuff like that. I just watched Bernards video on csi and it was very interesting and was scary too. Ok back to the point of this blog. I have done self forgiveness on all the points that have came up so far and I am simply not going to participate in gossip anymore, also I am not going to judge the people gossiping because I realize that I am equal to them and they haven't realized that they are a slave to there mind. I also want to talk about last night when I was talking to my brother about desteni. He got really pissed at me and almost hung up the phone. He ended up saying that desteni is for everyone and it is good for people like me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I can save my brother from himself. So yea it was interesting talking to him about his problems im just worryed about him because he is really fucking himself up. I dont want him to have to abuse himself any more. He said that desteni takes it too far? He basically gave me a list of justifications on why the world will never change and why he is going to not stand up for himself oh well. I cant do anything other than I have already done accept be here as support for him unconditionally.